Vaginal Realm

Ever wondered how it's like to be the official Philippine deathbringer? What if you, as in YOU, are assigned by the President to be the embodiment of capital punishment, and you were given the absolute right to amend Philippine criminal law in terms of punishment for those who are convicted? In what specific way will you dispose those who were handed down with the death penalty?

This was the thought that crossed my mind while watching XXX, ABS-CBN's documentary show featuring controversial news from the week that was. The crew was able to catch on camera an actual robbery that took place somewhere near Luneta, and Penha and I were just infuriated by the guts these crooks have. Why, they staged it right along the main street!

So, the day after, we decided to categorize criminals based on the most common offenses, and thought of the most sinister, inhumane way of mutilating these bastards. IMO, they don't deserve to live, let alone plant their seed and multiply. So, here's what we came up with:

• Rapist - imprison them with very muscular men...of Middle-Eastern descent, to be more specific, who are into sodomy. No execution. Just imprison him til the day he dies. The Mr. Muhammad Baklush a.k.a. prisonmates will be replaced regularly to maintain a very able population of man-rapists. Prisonmates will only bathe once a month and will be on a constant diet of chili. A ratio of 20:1 seems fair, I think.
• Murderer - literally tearing them apart by pulling their body parts, one by one, until only the head and torso are left. Cut the tongue. Then set him free to the world where no relatives of his live. I bet he'd have a lot of time to think about his trespasses through this.
• Rapist and Murderer - IMO definitely the most unforgivable crime there is. I say a combination of the above punishments: reduce him to his tongue-less head and torso, then imprison him with male-rapists raking with body odor. For the rest of his fucking life.
• Plunder and/or graft and corruption convicts - or any large-scale thief, for that matter. Send them to a far-off island where privately-funded medical researches are being conducted on humans. They'd be the permanent lab rats here, with the doctors testing adverse physical effects on them one after another on a daily basis. Nevermind the psychological effect, pharm companies are only interested on the physical effects anyway. They'd be so sick with all the drugs mixed up in their system, but who cares?
• Illegal Drug manufacturers - nevermind the pushers, they'd have nothing to sell if there was nothing made to sell. So for these masterminds of the corruption of countless sanity, Penha thinks they should be injected very potent hallucinogens everytime they wake up, to let them confront their evil demons on a daily basis and see what it's like to be hooked on those illegal substances they fatten their coffers with. Let them lose their mind or commit suicide if they can't handle the heat. At least the government can save up with less convicts to execute.

Hmmm, I don't think the victims' relatives would agree with me. They would want it more gruesome, more cruel, more, more, MORE! Ah, I wish for world peace.

Labels: random ramblings