Vaginal Realm

It's mom's 60th birthday today. Though she's gone older for her age for the past few years. Perhaps because of the feeling of loneliness and emptiness embracing our family house...we children started moving out one by one since the last 5 years or so followed by my father last year. She only have my other brother (I have two) with her in that big house. Maybe, she's sad.

I received a message from that brother of mine asking if I was going home tonight. I said my plan was to go home tomorrow instead, that is if typhoon Reming doesn't throw the MRT into a flying frenzy. I do feel kinda guilty not going home to see her today, but even if i try she'd be asleep by the time I got home. Travel's gonna be a hassle tonight, what with all commuters travelling back to the provinces to take advantage of the long weekend. EDSA is gonna be a nightmare.

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I'll be on leave on Monday, so that gives me a 4-day weekend. Thanks to Reming I might end up spending it at home with no electricity. And without electricity, the water pump will not work. Ergo, no electricity means no water as well. Qui horror! No recreation inside and outside home for days. Sigh. Well, at least I have plenty of time to catch up on sleep. Yeah, as if I lack it. *chuckle*

Monday will be spent going to the routine check-up with Dr. Benavidez. If I'm not mistaken, I'll be on my 22th week and 1 day by then. Probably she can now recommend a US for bubu. I can't wait to see bubu. See who bubu is taking after. They say orange juice works, so I'm gonna drink lots of it before going to the US room and watch bubu do cartwheels on the monitor. Weee!

I have to ask the doctor too about the quite painful contractions I've been having lately. I read in my favorite site for the moment that contractions lasting 60-90 seconds are about normal at this stage as part of my body preparing for the labor. But jeez, when it last for, say, an hour and it feels like my tummy's gonna burst when I exhale is really uncomfortable. It can also be painful, and heavy, considering that most people observe that I my tummy is rather small for my term. I have so many questions. So many qualms. What can I say, I'm a virgin. *lol*

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I fervently hope that when I return on Tuesday next week, George would still be seated inside the room behind my cubicle. You know, just to start another week right. That's what I pray for: one more week. My sympathy goes to the guy. He is so...not deserving of any of this. But that story's for another day. I'll post more about it on another entry.

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Have a rainy weekend everyone! :D

Labels: daily mishaps, random ramblings

I shall never forget that face -- the face of dismay, disappointment, betrayal, and all other negative emotions that nothing but love can bring about to a person. It was the first time I ever saw him like that. Oh yes, I shall never forget that face.

The question came about unexpectedly though ironically it was the one thing I yearned for him to ask for so long. Mayhap it could bring an end to my sleepless nights tossing and turning in bed how and when to confess, thinking that there is even a good time to do so. At times I could not look him in the eye because I know there is a big lie inside of me that no one deserves to know first more than him. I betrayed him, broke his trust. And for that I should be punished, but I was too much of a pussy to face it.

But he understood, and he took it quite better than I hoped he would. Yes, he loves me so. He loves me still. It was the kind of love only a father could give. It was the kind of love my kind of daughter does not deserve.

He didn't say anything. He just gave me that look. Head nodded, he turned his gaze away from me and refused to speak. I think after a while he understood.

Labels: dialogues