Vaginal Realm

I watched only one film at the recently concluded 11th French Film Festival -- Les Enfants Du Paradis (The Children of Paradise) -- at the Shang Cineplex last June 18. Directed by Marcel Carné and written by Jacques Prévert, the movie stars Arletty in her career-defining role, Jean-Louis Barrault, Pierre Brasseur, Marcel Herrand, and Louis Salou.

The set and music is so rich and ambitious for a project filmed during the German occupation of France in World War II. The set's designer, Alexandre Trauner, and the Music Director Joseph Kosma, had to work in utmost secrecy during the project as they are both Jews. A real-life theater and a quarter-mile boulevard had to be constructed, and almost 1,800 extras were hired, most of which were also members of the Resistance during the war and uses acting as daycover. The film runs for a little over 3 hours, a violation of the German sanction that all films should only run for an hour an a half, thus it was cut into two installments --

Paradise in the title refers to the highest, farthest, and thus cheapest seats in the theater, the only seats the poor and working-class can afford. Set in the 1840s theater district in Paris ("Boulevard du Crime"), the story revolves a beautiful and free-spirited woman, Garance, with whom four men have fallen in love with. First is Baptiste, who aspires to be the best theater mime actor of his time (coincidentally played by Jean-Louis Barrault, who is the best mime actor of his time). He was lovestruck by Garance when she threw a flower his way when he defended her honor against a theft charge through his witty mime acting. The second time they met was at the Funambule, the mime theater where Baptiste works. Second is Frederic Lemaitre, a rather flamboyant and obnoxious actor with humble beginnings in the Funambule and shifted to spoken word theater because silence is torture to him. He was able to bed Garance when she invited him to her bed, but lost her when he tried to possess her indefinitely. Third is Lacenaire, a man criminal disguising as a gentleman and a scribe. His frustration as a playwright made him create a real-life drama by his own hands, while on the process committing crime to get him by. And the fourth is Count Edouard de Montray, an upper-class gentleman who showers Garance with all worldly possessions to grant him exclusive patronage of her. All men but Baptiste failed to capture Garance's heart, but ironically the two did not end up together for Garance's sense of love is so simple and destructive at the same time, she cannot seem to commit herself to one man once he tries to possess her.

The story is a contrast of sorts. From the "paradise" section of the theater to the exclusive box seats, the peasant Baptiste to the extravagant Count Edouard, and the beauty of love blossoming and love departing, the movie is a good rendition of love and life in fiction and in reality. The movie is dubbed as "the greatest French film ever made", and I'm not surprised.

And yeah, I actually think that Jean-Louis Barrault is gay.

Read an in-depth synopsis of the movie here.

Labels: movie reviews

Ahhh, nostalgia kept me busy for a couple of days. Wai wai wai!

This is a game in the NES called Konami Wai Wai World, an all-star game pretty much like the NBA during the Olympics. And what is the story behind this strange game? It seems that Konami World has fallen into grave danger. A mysterious alien being has infiltrated Konami World, and allied itself with the evil forces that already existed there. As a result, six of Konami's heroes have been defeated and imprisoned by their foes. Konami World's only remaining hope lies with its resident super hero: Konami Man! Aided by his lovely sidekick Konami Girl, Konami Man must travel to various areas of Konami World and rescue the imprisoned heroes. Then, once all of the heroes are reunited, the alien force must be eradicated! The Konami characters in this game are:

• Konami Man - the protector of all that is Konami! I don't think Konami Man had a game of his own. From what I read he only made cameo apperances in certain Konami games. He's the guy in the blue suit.
• Konami Girl - she's simply the female counterpart of Konami Man, and does not have a game of her own also. She's pretty cute for an 8-bit elven/alien chick. Yep, she's that tart sitting in Kong's left arm.
• Goemon - his english game released internationally is named Mystical Ninja, or something like that. His attack makes the coolest-sounding effect in the game. And I'm not sure what his projectile weapon is but is sure looks like tomatoes to me. He is that puffy-haired pothead that looks like someone from a japanese variety show in the 80's.
• Simon - the most popular Konami character as far as I am concerned. Star of the Castlevania franchise, he has the coolest soundtrack in the game and the most powerful projectile weapon -- the crucifix boomerang. He is at the leftmost holding a brown whip that actually looks like a monkey's tail that sprung out of his ass. He has the most amusing teleport animation in the game.
• Fuuma - the character of the Getsufuu Maden ("Maden") game, which by the way my brother played to oblivion, is at the most fucking difficult stage of the game, appropriately called "Hell". I was only able to use him at the Eastern Island Stage as his attack was short-ranged and actually looks like he's playing with a jumping rope. His three-shuriken attack was useful in breaking bricks. He's that headband-donning guy brandishing his probably too-limp sword.
• Mikey - star of the Goonies movie and eventually turned into two games by Konami. His slingshot makes the cutest "piw" sound. His most significant use in the game is he can fit through low passages that all the other characters cannot. He's the red-haired boy in red overalls behind Konami Man.
• Moai Head - if that character looks familiar to you, he's actually one of the enemies in the Gradius game. The character design is so frickin' hilarious. He has legs like a frog, and his attack! He attacks by headbutting his enemies, which is rather difficult since he is quite tall and thus cannot hit small characters. His ring projectiles can be quite powerful though, which is his only redeeming quality in the game.
• King Kong - hero of Konami's rendition of the King Kong movie. He is the most powerful and fast-moving character in the game, thus the most useful. He can jump through areas where the other characters cannot as he is the tallest character in the game. His projectile is throwing bananas, which is also the most powerful projectile attack in the game, albeit short-ranged and curved downwards. In case you have no idea, he's that big ape carrying Konami Girl in his left arm.
• Dr. Cinnamon - he is the creator of Konami Man and Konami Girl, and also the Twin Bee and Gradius Ships which you will use at the second to the last stage of the game. He can recharge the energy bars of the team, and also provides background info on each of the characters.
• Dr. Spice (not in picture) - brother of Dr. Cinnamon, his only role in the game is to revive dead allies for the low low price of 100 bullets! Pretty cheap, huh? He is differentiated from Dr. Cinnamon by wearing a black cape with red collar and white shirt, which kinda makes him look like Dracula with spectacles.
• Pentaro - star of the ever-so-lame-but-cute-nontheless Antarctic Adventure, he operates the teleport machine that will take the characters to the 6 worlds of the game.

I loved this game when I first got a copy of it eons ago, and I still love it now. By the way, wai wai is a Japanese onomatopeia that means noisy. Now I'm off to Macross. ^_^

Labels: random ramblings

Ever wondered how it's like to be the official Philippine deathbringer? What if you, as in YOU, are assigned by the President to be the embodiment of capital punishment, and you were given the absolute right to amend Philippine criminal law in terms of punishment for those who are convicted? In what specific way will you dispose those who were handed down with the death penalty?

This was the thought that crossed my mind while watching XXX, ABS-CBN's documentary show featuring controversial news from the week that was. The crew was able to catch on camera an actual robbery that took place somewhere near Luneta, and Penha and I were just infuriated by the guts these crooks have. Why, they staged it right along the main street!

So, the day after, we decided to categorize criminals based on the most common offenses, and thought of the most sinister, inhumane way of mutilating these bastards. IMO, they don't deserve to live, let alone plant their seed and multiply. So, here's what we came up with:

• Rapist - imprison them with very muscular men...of Middle-Eastern descent, to be more specific, who are into sodomy. No execution. Just imprison him til the day he dies. The Mr. Muhammad Baklush a.k.a. prisonmates will be replaced regularly to maintain a very able population of man-rapists. Prisonmates will only bathe once a month and will be on a constant diet of chili. A ratio of 20:1 seems fair, I think.
• Murderer - literally tearing them apart by pulling their body parts, one by one, until only the head and torso are left. Cut the tongue. Then set him free to the world where no relatives of his live. I bet he'd have a lot of time to think about his trespasses through this.
• Rapist and Murderer - IMO definitely the most unforgivable crime there is. I say a combination of the above punishments: reduce him to his tongue-less head and torso, then imprison him with male-rapists raking with body odor. For the rest of his fucking life.
• Plunder and/or graft and corruption convicts - or any large-scale thief, for that matter. Send them to a far-off island where privately-funded medical researches are being conducted on humans. They'd be the permanent lab rats here, with the doctors testing adverse physical effects on them one after another on a daily basis. Nevermind the psychological effect, pharm companies are only interested on the physical effects anyway. They'd be so sick with all the drugs mixed up in their system, but who cares?
• Illegal Drug manufacturers - nevermind the pushers, they'd have nothing to sell if there was nothing made to sell. So for these masterminds of the corruption of countless sanity, Penha thinks they should be injected very potent hallucinogens everytime they wake up, to let them confront their evil demons on a daily basis and see what it's like to be hooked on those illegal substances they fatten their coffers with. Let them lose their mind or commit suicide if they can't handle the heat. At least the government can save up with less convicts to execute.

Hmmm, I don't think the victims' relatives would agree with me. They would want it more gruesome, more cruel, more, more, MORE! Ah, I wish for world peace.

Labels: random ramblings

Want cake?

Yep, 24 behbeh. Now older and no way wiser.

Labels: nonsense