Vaginal Realm

So this is what it's like to be married, huh? I guess I was a big fool to rush in like that. I never imagined it would be so god-damned difficult. But I'm strong. I won't fall. I have to be strong.

Ellen, be strong.

As each day passes I'm beginning to marvel at how we as a couple were able to patch things up and keep on moving. It's a wonder how, at the end of the day, we still remain the husband and wife that we are now. I'd hate to think that we're staying together for the sake of the kid. Heck, God knows how I love him so, but sometimes our own selves make things so difficult to work out. He's so assuming of what I think, and I on the other hand am too passive to think of anything. This is where the fight usually stems from. And then it leads to another thing, and another...until I for myself become too tired to talk. I'd just close my eyes, turn my back, and let things cool down. Sort of like sweeping dirt under the rug instead of out the door, you might say. But I don't know. I'm just not the type who would want to quarrel about something so...senseless. If these same things happen to another person, I'd probably advise to brush it off and talk. Talk. Now that's something we rarely do. Somehow I feel that we're not on the same plane, and no matter how hard each tries to reach out to the other somehow things get really shaky. Simply put, he won't talk to me.

Don't get me wrong, though. We have a lot of good times. However, the intensity of happiness from lighter days is far less than the damage brought upon by the senseless quarrels that seem to occur day after day that it wears you out faster than the laughter regenerates you. I'm a strong woman; heck, I've been through worse emotional turmoil, but by God this is just too much.

Believe that these are all tests. If we pass them, we will see brighter days altogether.

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Of course we had a fight again last night. He was bitching about all night long it made my head ache. I think I remember him saying something like I'd get what I've always wanted for (or what I deserve) soon. And I swear to God as soon as I fell asleep I had a dream of him endorsing annulment papers to me the next day. Jeezus, this is really stressful. I hope it won't happen though. I'm willing to try and try until things get running smoothly. As I've said I'm a strong woman. I'm a big girl, I can take it. I'm just not so sure about him.

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I know you're reading this. You're probably looking for proof that I'm unfaithful. Believe what you will. I'm too tired of convincing you otherwise. F*ck it.

Labels: mush

Your Japanese Name Is...

Hitomi Nakamura

There's a Chance You Could Be Violent

Overall, you're a pretty chill person - and you have a good handle on your emotions. Sometimes your anger gets the best of you, and end up regretting how you act. Try to curb your temper more often. It only has to get out of control once to do some damage.

Your Political Profile:

Overall: 65% Conservative, 35% Liberal Social Issues: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal Personal Responsibility: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal Fiscal Issues: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal Ethics: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal Defense and Crime: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal

Labels: nonsense

Solenne was baptized as a Christian last Saturday. Man, time flies so fast. It didn't seem like four months ago she was wrapped in a pink blanket at the hospital nursery. She grows so fast, too. By now she probably weighs an estimate of 7 kgs, double her birthweight. She got her Otosan's extremities, long and slender, while she got her skintone and hair color from me. She loves to sing, hugs her muymuy and hotdog pillow like crazy, and is fond of watching TV. Her hair is already long enough to be tied with pretty little ribbons. And just recently we bought her new pairs of shoes because booties doesn't suit her anymore. Give it a few more weeks and then she'll start crawling. Haaay.

Sig and I are giddy with excitement the night before. Bibinyagan na si Solenne, we sighed. It was a milestone for her and for us as well. It took us one month to prepare for this whole event, and that excludes the planning that took about another month. Now, being the first-born that she is, of course we parents are excited with all the planning stuff. Let me recap the steps that led to this wonderful celebration:

We started by listing down the things to do, which we narrowed down to six:

1. Pick a venue for the reception - funny, this was actually at the top of our list
2. Pick a church, which ironically should be within the vicinity of the reception
3. Souvenirs
4. Cake
5. Invitation
6. Guest List

After considering our options, we chose to have the reception at Cafe Ysabel at San Juan. Aside from being homey and cozy, the food is just superb that we believed everything they serve would appeal to anybody's discriminating (or jologs) palate. Plus, the staff were really courteous and helpful. We went there 3 weeks before the scheduled date to do some food tasting, and finally decided on a sit down menu that comprises a full meal - salad, soup, main course, dessert, coffee/tea, and drinks. We initially wanted it to be July 28, but since this date was unavailable we settled for August 4 instead. The restaurant manager was not around that day so I went back two days after to pay the downpayment. August 4th it is!

Cafe Ysabel, 455 P. Guevarra Street, San Juan. From Ortigas, turn left (or right if you're from San Juan town proper) at Wilson Street. Landmark is Metrobank at the corner of Ortigas and Wilson. Go straight ahead until you reach a mini-crossing at the end of Wilson, at which turn left to P. Guevarra Street. Landmark is Asiatrust Bank at the corner of Wilson and P. Guevarra. Within 100 meters you will reach Cafe Ysabel at the left side of the road. Perfect date resto. Price is about average, expect to shove out P500 per head which includes a main course, dessert or salad, and drink. Our set menu costs P605 per head + 12% VAT. A P10,000 DP is demanded upon closing of the date.

Next, after paying the downpayment that Tuesday, I met with Sig and went to Santuario de San Jose inside East Greenhills Subdivision. The church proper is really pretty (and quite big for a subdivision parish) with huge stained glass windows and gold as the main color theme althroughout. The baptistry is located in a separate room at the right side of the altar, where there is a life-size idol of the Risen Lord and bowl for pouring of the Holy Water. The church and the baptistry are air-conditioned, which is suitable for a baby wearing an elaborate lace and organza christening gown. The church staff are very friendly and helpful, plus they have a working fax machine through which I sent Solenne's birth certificate and list of ninongs and ninangs. The parish priest Fr. Noel was also very nice, himself a light-hearted person and would sometimes be a funny bone in an otherwise awkward ceremony.

Santuario de San Jose's office is open from 8am to 12nn, and 1pm to 5pm with telephone number 725-2044, fax 724-4139. Baptismal charge is P1,500, which includes the priest's fee, use of airconditioning system, and candles for the sponsors. The baptismal certificate would be available within a week after the ceremony. For baptism, they only require a photocopy of the child's birth certificate. A form is also required where you list the names of ninongs and ninangs. I might be wrong, but there are only 4 pairs of ninongs and ninangs in the form, so I guess better check if they will allow more sponsors beyond that.

The next weekend after our food-tasting session, we went to Divisoria to look for souvenirs. We had a lot of ideas, and we went all over 168 and Divisoria malls to look for them, only to find what we wanted in a quaint shop within the jungles of the streets of divisoria itself. A personalized glass paperweight bearing Solenne's picture with some little message of thanks. It costs P30 per piece for 30 pieces and would be finished within 2 days. The first batch they got the message all jumbled up. Seriously, we wrote the friggin' message down. How the hell can they get it wrong? So we gave them another two days to fix the fuck up. The souvenirs come in its own little red box.

Due to time constraints and the unavailability of our desired baker, we decided to forget about the cake. Heck, as if the guests would have spare room for cake with all the food they'll be served with.

The invitations were designed by myself and printed using company resources (ssssh!!!). I just had to purchase nice board paper and formal invitation envelops for 30 invitations, costing about P250 at National Bookstore. We have a good enough laser printer here in the office, so why would I use my own or pay for it? No way.

Now, the guest list. Initially, we listed down 29 guests, 3 of which might not make it, so that makes 26. But OF COURSE, the Filipino that some of us are, they would tag along their bf/gf/friend/whoever even if it says in their invitation "We reserved 1 seat for you". And then my sister had to tag along 2 of her children's nannies, and my father invited my aunt and her husband and her son with her girlfriend...SO *surprise surprise* on the day itself there were 39 people, 4 kids (as opposed to only 1 officially invited) and 2 unexpected nannies. That shot up our total bill to a bit above P28,000 all in, less the downpayment of 10K. But then again, all the guests were happy and filled to the throat with their meals and all of us had a great time, catching up and spending another golden moment together, so I guess it's worth every penny.

Solenne's gown and booties was made using a hand-embroidered lace and organza gown by deconstructing my own gown. The fabric was given to me by my mother. I simply paid the tailor for labor and a few beadwork she made at the train of the gown. It costs me a meager amount of P500, but believe me, whe you purchase a less elaborate gown at Rustan's, it costs P6,500. I guess it's because of the concept of the designer and the fabric that makes it so expensive. When I went to the couturier I already have the design on hand, so in a week's time she was able to finish the dress.

All in all, it was an unforgettable experience. Solenne was baffled with the number of people wishing her well. With all those blessings, I know she will have some kind of a life ahead.

Oh, and did I mention that everyone thought she is soooo beautiful? *snicker*

See more pictures here.

Labels: bubu

I tendered my resignation today. I will no longer be an employee of ePLDT effective September 15, 2007.

This is long overdue. I remember planning this for the longest time again and again. It's about time I mustered the guts to prepare my resignation letter and tell my boss that I'm leaving. Although, I must say my entire two-and-a-half year stay here ain't really that bad. After all, I learned a lot during my tenure that would be a real help in my professional career. Plus, their name made my resume seem super. I guess I got my overtime work's worth after all.

The transition would mean a big change for me. New office, new peers, new rules. Blending in yet again could prove to be hard especially when the new environment seems as frigid as my would-be new office. Did you ever get the feeling of aloofness when all the people are either coños and what-have-you's? I never really get along well with those kind of folks.

As for the new job, I have a feeling that they are trying to get their every penny's worth. I honestly do not believe that I am deserving of the level they are offering, and somewhat fishy that the initial offer was one level lower than this one. That first offer I refused because we did not agree on the compensation package. Now they offered new terms: they offered a package a bit above my asking BUT the position is higher. Initially one would be happy with this but if you analyze it further, you'd realize that they were giving me extra load for every penny above their initial offer. That's smart of them, but I am so desperate to get out of here that I'm gonna take a bite of that apple.

I'm doubtful if I could prove my worth, and eventhough I've been serving as a supervisor-level for almost 3 years I still am not sure if I can take bigger steps now. I mean, come on. It's absurd, bogus even. I'm 25 for chrissakes. But hey, if they so think I'm fit for the job, then I will place faith on their judgement. After all, it's their company who's gonna crumble if I screw up. *lol*

Wish me luck. May I find my employer of choice with this one.

*zhwing!*