Revelations and Conclusions
If they stayed together for the sake of the kids, heck they did a wonderfuckinglutely job.
This was my very first thought in 2006 (excluding whatever nonsensicals I was thinking while waiting for 12mn).
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Looking back at how I spent the holidays, I can only surmise at how pitiful of a family I have. The endless cold war between two persons has finally ended on Christmas Eve after more than 33 years of painstaking effort to live with each other. I spent Christmas and New Year’s Eves with another family who are not even blood relatives, and I guess this is the only consolation for me to actually say that the holidays is the season for love and giving, after all. However, with the risk of sounding like a whining crybaby, it still irks me that the family who has built my final stronghold from the gusts of life is actually starting to formally fall apart, and fate has picked the perfect timing for it.
Being the family-oriented person that my parents raised me to be, I say now with shame and regret that matters seems irreparable by now. Perhaps I need not explain the shame part, but the regret stems out from the fact that it was me, always been me, who’s caught in the middle of all of their clashes. And it was me who knew and tried so hard to understand the side of them both, and judging by the complication of their personalities just decided to cover-up for the shortcomings of the other just so tension would not heighten and spark a nuclear war, and make our home a mine field. Now that they are starting to crumble I can’t help but blame myself. But what was I supposed to do? I may be made from their chromosomes or whatever but conjugal matters should be settled by the conjugal partners. Their issues should be discussed and settled by them and them alone, or perhaps with the assistance of a marriage counselor but that’s about it. The reason why? Because I can humbly admit that I know shit when it comes to intimate relationships, and I really cannot claim that I know more than they do, thus wiping out my stand to try meddling with their matrimonial affairs.
4 offsprings, 4 college diplomas, and 4 contributions to the workforce. When I looked at things from a sociologist’s POV, then they really did not do bad as parents. Heh.
It’s the first day of the year and it’s raining. It’s the year of the dog, my year, and a wounded pup like me can only lick her wounds in a secluded shelter and let life do its wonders of healing.
Count your blessings; you never know until when they will last.
This was my very first thought in 2006 (excluding whatever nonsensicals I was thinking while waiting for 12mn).
*************************
Looking back at how I spent the holidays, I can only surmise at how pitiful of a family I have. The endless cold war between two persons has finally ended on Christmas Eve after more than 33 years of painstaking effort to live with each other. I spent Christmas and New Year’s Eves with another family who are not even blood relatives, and I guess this is the only consolation for me to actually say that the holidays is the season for love and giving, after all. However, with the risk of sounding like a whining crybaby, it still irks me that the family who has built my final stronghold from the gusts of life is actually starting to formally fall apart, and fate has picked the perfect timing for it.
Being the family-oriented person that my parents raised me to be, I say now with shame and regret that matters seems irreparable by now. Perhaps I need not explain the shame part, but the regret stems out from the fact that it was me, always been me, who’s caught in the middle of all of their clashes. And it was me who knew and tried so hard to understand the side of them both, and judging by the complication of their personalities just decided to cover-up for the shortcomings of the other just so tension would not heighten and spark a nuclear war, and make our home a mine field. Now that they are starting to crumble I can’t help but blame myself. But what was I supposed to do? I may be made from their chromosomes or whatever but conjugal matters should be settled by the conjugal partners. Their issues should be discussed and settled by them and them alone, or perhaps with the assistance of a marriage counselor but that’s about it. The reason why? Because I can humbly admit that I know shit when it comes to intimate relationships, and I really cannot claim that I know more than they do, thus wiping out my stand to try meddling with their matrimonial affairs.
4 offsprings, 4 college diplomas, and 4 contributions to the workforce. When I looked at things from a sociologist’s POV, then they really did not do bad as parents. Heh.
It’s the first day of the year and it’s raining. It’s the year of the dog, my year, and a wounded pup like me can only lick her wounds in a secluded shelter and let life do its wonders of healing.
Count your blessings; you never know until when they will last.
Labels: gripe, random ramblings
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